


Hera's Heart

by cutlawquane



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Reunion, Romance, Separation, Tears, Trust
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-06
Updated: 2016-04-04
Packaged: 2018-05-25 01:54:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6175783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cutlawquane/pseuds/cutlawquane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You realize I know when you're lying, right?" Hera said, a bemused smirk on her face. "Whatever you're facing, I wanted us to face it together."</p><p>This is a novelization of the important Kanan/Hera (Kanera) moments from Star Wars Rebels. Internal monologue from Hera's point of view and her unlimited love for Kanan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. At What Cost

**Author's Note:**

> Curating all my Rebels fics onto A03. I have writing on Tumblr and Fanfic.net. Want to have it all here!
> 
> This one is from Season 1 Episode 13 - Rebel Resolve

As Hera readied up the Ghost for take-off, Fulcrum’s words echoed in her mind for the hundredth time.

“You must stop your search for Kanan,” Fulcrum said, her metallic voice masking all emotion or identity.

“Beep, beep, boop…” Chopper interrupted abruptly.

“Oh yeah, Chopper, close the fuel door for me,” Hera said wearily.

 _He_ would have teased her for that. Hera missed Kanan’s sarcastic quips every time she would take-off.

“You _sure_ you didn’t scrape the Phantom this time?” or “Chopper wouldn’t have waited so long to disengage thrusters.”

She remembered his smug face clearly and would just roll her eyes and focus at the task at hand. She looked to her right but no cheeky smile returned her gaze, just a cold empty seat. Her hands never failed her as she did all the safety checks for a safe take-off but her mind was nowhere near the controls. As the Ghost entered orbit, only Chopper’s frustrated beeps filled the cockpit.

Kanan would always be there beside her when they took off. Sometimes he’d smile or pinch her shoulder, but mostly, he was just there. Hera would always pay no mind to his presence. She even got snappy when he’d tease her or touch her playfully.

“Flying is serious, dear, you’re distracting me!”

The truth was, it wasn’t the same without him. She missed his very presence, his cheeky quips even though the words out of her mouth contradicted that. Losing him hurt so much and she didn’t know how to make it go away.

Hera was no stranger to loss either. The Empire had taken everything from her – her home, her freedom, her family. Each time, it had hardened her resolve, made her more determined to take it down so no more had to suffer. This time though, it was different. Being told that she could not go after Kanan stabbed at her very being.

It felt good the last few weeks going out there looking for Kanan. He became a purpose that dwarfed all other purposes even that of the rebellion. Now, she was told that had to end. She could not keep looking.

The bigger picture was what was important. Hera repeated that to herself a few more times as she lay awake that night on her bunk. Kanan was a friend she kept repeating as if that would make the loss less painful. Throughout the years she had constantly kept their relationship on the backburner, insisting that the cause was the most important thing. He would nod and smile every time and they’d speak no more of it.

Hera knew though. She knew that he wanted her from the moment they first met until their last good bye.

As Hera tossed and turned, her lekku entwining on the back of her neck, she wondered how Kanan’s capture could have twisted her so much that she was questioning Fulcrum and the leaders of the rebellion so readily.

This cause was her life. It was what drove her to leave her family and become a pilot. It didn’t make sense to Hera that this one human who she let into her life (reluctantly she might’ve added at the time) could make her feel so helpless and lost. Hera hated going into hiding. She yearned to soar, to take the Ghost up in the skies and she wanted him, Kanan, by her side.

Hera was prepared to do anything, everything, to get him back but that was not reason speaking. Fulcrum’s words echoed in her mind again.

“You must stop your search for Kanan… at what cost? You, your unit, the overall mission?”

Hearing these words again in her mind sparked impulses that frightened Hera. What if she just left anyway to look for him? What if she just took the Phantom to the Imperial Complex, turned herself in just to see him again one more time?

She ran a hand down her right lek, untangling it from her left. She wondered for a moment then how it might feel to have his hands on her head-tails. He would be gentle she knew. Just holding his hand she could feel the force through him, the same strength that filled her with hope. The thought was gone as soon as it came and she turned over on her side to look at the blank wall of her cabin.

Hera took a deep breath and exhaled. She tried to clear her mind the way Kanan taught her. There he was again, Kanan, that ever-present Jedi in her thoughts.

Hera was good at meditation, or at least that was what Kanan said. Sitting up in her bunk, she lowered her chin and turned her emotions inward but this time it was harder than ever and she could not unsee herself pressing the fateful button on the Phantom as he got left behind.

He was gone, and she wasn’t going to find him. The weight of this realization took over and she felt a single tear trickle down her cheek. She had failed him, she had failed them and it was more than she was ready for.

Kanan was her rock, her partner, her love and as she wiped that lone tear away, she wondered if she would ever be the same again.


	2. The Galaxy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanan and Hera reunite in Fire Across the Galaxy (season 1 finale)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From pure despair to pure joy. Hera finally has her rock back!

“We are not leaving here without you and Kanan,” Hera snapped.

Zeb and Sabine were squeezed in beside her in the TIE but she felt more trapped by the thought that this mission would all be for nothing and Kanan would be left behind again.

It had cost them an open debt to Vizago, two dangerous recon ops and now Ezra was telling her to just leave empty handed! Nuh-uh! Hera would stay right here until she could see Kanan’s beautiful face again and clutch him tightly to her…

“Just listen to the kid, will you?”

It was him.

He sounded tired, drained, but she felt her heart skip a beat and felt the corner of her lips curl up instinctively. Hera’s eyes beamed and she saw her expression mirrored in Zeb and Sabine's beside her. It was the greatest joy she’d felt in weeks and she was sitting in a TIE fighter on an Imperial Star Destroyer about to explode.

The only explosions she noticed though were from her racing heart. They were going to make it, she knew it.

Hera pushed her internal fire butterflies to the bottom of her heart. She pulled on her game face and guided the multi-colored TIE out of the hangar. Sabine’s paint job really left no part of the ship unadorned. They would be a bright yellow target for the whole Imperial fleet to lock onto. Right now though, she could take on a million Empire TIEs.

Kanan was alive!

***

Hyperspace zipped by on both sides, the blue blur a comforting, familiar calm like the oceans on Alderaan. Hera had been to Alderaan just the once with Kanan a few years ago. That seemed so far away before, but now she remembered it like it happened yesterday.

She remembered his teasing laugh as she got splashed by the waterfront. Ryloth was an ugly planet; it was harsh, dry and had far too many volcanoes. It was her home and had a special place in her heart but it was not beautiful, not like Alderaan anyway.

Having the softness of the water on her skin was an experience she wouldn’t readily forget, and Kanan was there too, his carefree attitude as much a relief as the water pooling at her toes.

Hera blinked for a second longer than usual and let out a sigh of relief.

“We made it guys!” she exclaimed as Zeb and Sabine slumped backwards in the TIE.

“I don’t know how or what happened, but we made it!” Hera said excitedly.

Before the others could move, she flipped open the top hatch and clambered up onto the transport deck. Another TIE had also docked alongside theirs.

Hera hesitated for a moment.

_What if it wasn’t them? What if she went over only to find two Stormtroopers with guns?_

It had all happened so fast that for an instant she doubted herself and began to fear the worst.

The hatch opened and a familiar ponytail popped into view. Ezra’s mop of blue hair shot up right after and he grinned at her. Hera stood still for a moment, trying to take it all in.

They did it, they got him back.

Her emotions couldn’t pin themselves on one thing and instead she just felt tingly. He turned around, and their eyes met once more. She felt a whole new wave of relief wash over her as he smiled.

Hera’s eyebrows curved down toward her cheek bones as her lips curved up the opposite way. It was like her whole face was collapsing inward from the joy building within her.

They met halfway and she felt him put his hands on her shoulders. Their eyes never once left each other’s as she watched his lips mouth the words: “I owe you all a great debt of gratitude. Even if what you did was rash, and reckless.”

Hera shook her head. She didn’t want to hear any more of this. It had been hell and she didn’t want to think back to a time without him. What’s important was that Kanan was back, and she could feel his strength and light through his touch. That’s all she wanted right now.

“You’re welcome, dear.”

They embraced and Hera in that moment felt safe again. Safe like that day on the shores of Alderaan or under the catwalk on the Forager when she first found out he was a Jedi. Even Chopper’s rude interruption couldn’t ruin this moment. Kanan was back and she had him. Today Hera was at peace again and she marveled at how small the galaxy was as she held it in her arms.


	3. There Are Always Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New chapter! After credits scene from S2 E4 Always Two There Are.

“You saying I lack discipline?” Kanan glowered.

Hera huffed and balled her hands into tiny fists. _Why couldn’t these two get along?_ Rex and Kanan were always arguing ever since the Clone Trooper joined the Ghost crew.

She understood Kanan’s mistrust at a base level but she hoped he would have overcome it a lot sooner.

As Hera spun in her chair in the Ghost’s cockpit, she thought back to Kanan when she first met him.

He was such a wise ass back then. He’d make jokes, engage in light hearted banter, but it was all a front. Kanan did not trust easily, and despite what he says, he didn’t trust Hera immediately either. It had taken years for Kanan to trust her enough to tell her about his past life as a Jedi, and even now, Hera didn’t have the full picture.

From what she knew, he was very different as a Jedi, just as he was different on Gorse compared to now. People change, and Hera herself would admit to having ‘lightened up’ as Kanan would say. Things however had gotten a lot grimmer in recent times.

Since Kanan’s rescue on Mustafar, the two of them hadn’t had much time together. She was extremely busy with planning the rebellion and organizing supplies and he had taken over ship duties and had his hands full with Ezra. Somehow though, Kanan always seem to have time to take a jab at Rex.

She felt bad for the old soldier, but it was likely that Kanan was just taking his stress out on him.

Hera liked Rex. He was a consummate professional and a true soldier. The rebels needed men like him which was why Kanan’s mistrust was so frustrating. There was a bigger cause he wasn’t seeing and even after their confrontation on Phoenix Home, he still didn’t seem to get it.

That’s not to say Kanan didn’t care or have his heart in it. Kanan always had his heart in it where Hera was involved. She just wished they’d be on the same page regarding the cause the same way they were with their feelings for each other.

In the background, Hera heard the two yelling again. She sighed and picked up her data pad, striding towards the noise.

“If you weren’t so inattentive, Ezra wouldn’t have been able to sneak off,” Rex gruffed.

The two men were inches from each other with heated expressions.

“Wait, Ezra’s gone?” Hera said, confused.

“Uh yeah,” Kanan said exasperatedly, his voice rising. “Because Captain Discipline here wanted to set some ground rules.”

Hera frowned. “Can you guys please cut it out, I could hear you from the cockpit, and the guys from Phoenix squadron over coms could too.”

Both men turned their heads down sheepishly at that even though it wasn’t true.

“Why don’t you guys play Dejarik, and I’ll be right here,” Hera said trying to raise the mood. She made herself comfortable on a couch behind them.

“Fine,” Kanan grumbled. “But I won’t go easy on you,” he scowled at Rex.

“We’ll see if you have a soldier’s discipline alright,” Rex retorted as they sat down for a game.

Hera sighed as she began to browse through some data logs.

***

“Those inquisitors are nasty business. Kanan, why didn’t you tell us there were more of them” Zeb implored.

Hera could see the hurt in Kanan’s expression. She moved over and wrapped her arm around him.

“I’ll meet you guys on the command deck,” Hera said to her young crew.

As they all filed out, she turned back to Kanan. “Did you know there was more than one?” Hera asked.

“No, I didn’t, do you think Ahsoka knows?” Kanan said, turning to Rex.

“I honestly don’t know,” Rex replied.

“We really have no idea what we’re up against” Kanan said dejectedly.

Hera rested her head on Kanan’s and clasped his hand. She hadn’t felt such sadness in Kanan in a long while. They stayed together like that for a few more moments, Kanan slowly lowering his head to rest on her neck. Rex stood off to the side, just as worried, but additionally unprepared for the vulnerability shown by the Jedi.

“Rex, can you give us a moment,” Hera said. Rex nodded and left the room quietly.

“Sit,” Hera gestured at the bench. Kanan shuffled over and Hera slid in beside him.

“I know things have been tough since you’ve been back,” Hera began.

Kanan avoided her gaze, looking down at the floor, silent. She reached over and took his left hand with her right.

“I need you to be strong, Kanan. Lead, set a good example for the kids, and keep your hopes up.”

“You make it sound so easy,” Kanan replied, curling his fingers between hers. Kanan’s eyes however never left the floor.

“I feel like there’s so much out there I’m not ready for. I can’t fight them all and win. I can feel it in the force. There’s darkness and pain, and I feel responsible.”

Hera’s left hand reached out and touched his check. She lifted his face up towards hers. “Look at me,” she said, a gentle smile forming on her lips.

Kanan glanced up for a moment and returned a shy smile despite himself.

“I thought I had lost you, that I wouldn’t see you again,” Hera said. “Yet, here you are.”

Hera ran her hand up Kanan’s face to rustle his hair. Kanan smiled again, warming up, but still unwilling to really engage Hera. She leaned in closer to him.

“I have hope Kanan, because I have you,” she said softly. “You give me strength, and you make me feel as though I’m winning,” Hera continued.

Kanan looked up from the floor and stared back into her eyes. He took both of her hands and held them together in a ball within his own.

“Hera, you _are_ a winner. Look at what you have here – a beautiful ship, a cause you believe in, you didn’t need me to get any of that.”

Hera blushed, she wasn’t used to earnest praise from Kanan. She’d rather have the endearing quips.

She paused for a second, unsure of what to say.

“I used to think I could do it all on my own. But honestly, I wouldn’t have gotten far. I nearly died on the Forager and that wasn’t even supposed to be a real mission. I had plans but no people to help make it happen. But then I met you.”

She didn’t mean to make it sound so dramatic. Kanan’s eyebrows raised, uneasy at Hera’s unusual openness.

“It’s hard now, love, but you’re special Kanan and you can do a lot for the people here. You _mean_ a lot to the people here. Do you not see the way Ezra looks up to you? He needs you Kanan, the whole crew needs you… I need you.”

At that, Hera drew Kanan towards her and their lips met. It was a brief kiss but it was warm and loving.

“I don’t deserve you,” Kanan said with a chuckle as they separated. Hera gave him a roguish smile as she relinquished his grasp.

“No you don’t,” she teased. “But you know who does deserve a little more respect? Rex.”

Kanan groaned.

“When he comes back, brief him on the supply run for tomorrow. Working on something together might help you get over your differences,” Hera said as she stood up and made for the exit.

“Wait, where are you going?” Kanan called after her.

She turned in the doorway with her hands on her hips confidently. “I need to read up on the Outer Rim planets. A new base isn’t going to find itself,” Hera replied.

Kanan smiled back with an expression that said 'I can’t believe what I’m hearing' and waved his hands as if to shoo her out.


	4. The Agreement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S2 E12 The Protector of Concord Dawn
> 
> Hera and Kanan have an intimate moment after he captures Fenn Rau.

“I hear we’re taking prisoners now,” Hera said weakly.

“I like to think of him more as… a reluctant recruit,” Kanan answered wryly.

“It was better than the alternative,” Sabine began. “We’re not at war with the protectors. There was no need to take their lives if we didn’t have to.”

“Hm. Sabine, you’re starting to sound more like a Jedi than a Mandalorian.”

“Well, I guess I’ve just been raised right,” Sabine finished.

Hera saw a small smile spreading on Kanan’s face. She tried to smile back but only managed something akin to a half grimace.

Sabine held her hand gently, and Hera glowed with pride. Hera had her doubts about the spunky warrior they freed from the academy but evidently she and Kanan had done well by her.

Sabine understood now that this war had to be won on principles as well as with weapons. It was this concept that Hera and Kanan had talked about for nights on end when they decided to expand their crew. It filled Hera with great joy that their beliefs were being upheld by their young crew and it reinforced her resolve to fight.

“Sabine, I’m so proud of you.”

Sabine blushed, her tan skin turning a briefly darker shade. Hera looked into the Mandalorian’s eyes and saw a younger, wiser version of herself.

Hera cut off the moment abruptly by frowning in pain. Sabine and Kanan both lurched forward, concern on their faces.

“Go tell Ezra that I’m fine,” Hera said shakily, eyeing Sabine. “He’s been in and out all day trying to heal me with the force when he thinks I’m sleeping.”

Both of them laughed.

“Well, has it helped?” Kanan asked.

“Hard to tell,” Hera answered.  

“Don’t tell him I said that though,” she said with a sidelong glance at Sabine.

“I won’t,” Sabine replied. She released Hera’s hand and headed for the exit.

“I’ll tell him you two… want some alone time,” she added cheekily, as the doors of the med bay slid shut.

Kanan shook his head ruefully as he walked to Hera’s side. She saw the same proud look on his face as he approached.

“We did it,” Hera started.

“We did,” Kanan answered, putting a loving hand on her cheek.

“Promise me you’ll look after them if I’m gone,” Hera said solemnly.

“Woah, woah,” Kanan said. “You’re not going anywhere.”

“We agreed about this,” Hera said, raising her eyebrows.

“We agreed to finish every mission,” Kanan said.

“We have another mission now,” Hera said. “This one we won’t ever fully complete. It’s family. Promise me, Kanan.”

Kanan looked down at Hera’s fragile hands. He traced her knuckles with his index finger.

“Yes,” he said gazing into her eyes. “I promise.” The deep green of his irises shone with determination and Hera felt her heart lift.

“Kiss me,” Hera said softly.

Kanan leaned down slowly and brushed her lips with his own. Hera closed her eyes and inhaled. Her body was damaged and weak but her soul was full and strong.

She tried to sit up to reach Kanan but he lightly pushed her back down.

“I told you, you’re not going anywhere,” Kanan said firmly but kindly.

Hera lay back down reluctantly.

“Then I guess you’ll have to come to me,” Hera said fervently.

Kanan interlaced his fingers with hers.

“Always,” he said.

Then he kissed her again.


	5. Better Not To Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hera and Kanan discuss keeping secrets in S2 E17 Shroud of Darkness.
> 
> Pictures included from my original post on [Tumblr](http://cutlawquane.tumblr.com/post/140530274965/better-not-to-know)

Hera bounded over excitedly towards her two precious Jedi. She hadn’t seen them in days and it was such a relief to get a message from Kanan telling her they were alright.

She tried to keep a positive attitude and smiled as they came in.

“I don’t know, Chopper was flying,” Ezra said sullenly.

“Oh boy,” Hera said with a shake of her head.

Ezra had been through a lot lately, and this new dark attitude was concerning.

“So, kid, find us a base yet?” Zeb asked brightly.

“No, but we did find two inquisitors,” Ezra shot back.

“Oh, that’s nothing new,” Zeb said, turning his focus back to his bo-rifle.

“She’s waiting for you,” Hera said as Ezra left the room.

She swung around to face Kanan. It was worrying how he seemed so distant lately. Hera needed to know what was going on. She needed to know how to help.

“It’s safer this way,” Kanan said softly, turning his gaze away. He didn’t want to meet her eyes.

Hera reached out with a gloved hand, brushing Kanan’s cheek.

“What happened? Talk to me?” she implored.

Zeb continued to keep his head down in the corner, preening over his bo-rifle.

Kanan looked at her briefly then turned away again.

“This isn’t working,” Kanan said. “They’re everywhere and we can’t…”

Kanan stopped abruptly and looked around him, eyes widening.

“What?” Hera asked. “What is it?”

“I… I… give me a second,” he said distractedly, hurrying from the common room.

Hera watched him run as if he’d seen a ghost.

“Kanan,” she echoed weakly.

“He’ll come around,” Zeb said, putting his rifle back down on the table. “He always does.”

Hera turned to face the Lasat. “Thanks Zeb,” she muttered.

“Where’s Sabine?” he asked, trying to change the subject.

Hera frowned as her attention was pulled away. “In the cockpit,” she said after a pause. “She’s reprogramming the shield controls.”

“Ah,” Zeb said. “She has my barrel cleaner.”

He stood up and walked towards the front of the ship.

“If you’re headed that way, clean the main panel too, will you?” Hera asked after him.

She heard the Lasat groan. “Fine,” he said.

Hera fell back into Zeb’s big chair. She pulled out a data pad and a slew of messages from Sato popped up.

They were barely gone an hour from the fleet and already work had started to pile up. Hera sighed and began sifting through the transmissions.

***

Ezra and Ahsoka emerged from the hallway, closely followed by Chopper.

The young Padawan flew up the ladder to the Phantom, barely acknowledging Hera. She stood up in alarm.

“Ahsoka?” Hera said.

The Togruta gave Hera a warm smile. “It’s okay, we won’t be gone long,” she said.

Ahsoka climbed the ladder up to the ship, lifting Chopper up along with her.

Even though Ahsoka claimed to be unaffiliated, Hera always found her to be a lot more like a Jedi than Kanan was. She was always polite and kind but you never could figure out just what she was thinking or feeling.

Kanan came through the door as Ahsoka swung up into the Phantom.

“You’re leaving too? Already?” Hera said, dismayed.

“We have to,” Kanan said bluntly.

He started to climb the ladder but Hera pulled at his arm.

“Kanan, where are you going? Tell me so I can fly down if things go wrong,” Hera said.

Kanan reluctantly stepped off the ladder to face Hera.

“Do you remember what you told me when I first asked about the rebels?” he said placing a hand on her shoulder.

Hera frowned. She remembered.

“But those were just names and places,” she protested. “I always told you where I was going and where I’d be.”

Kanan looked away from her.

“This mission is decided by the Force,” he said vaguely. “You can’t help us. It’ll only put you and the crew in danger.”

“I’m not afraid,” Hera said boldly. “We can handle them.”

“Hera,” Kanan said steadily. “Listen to me.”

“The Inquisitors are dangerous and they have powerful allies. You have to trust me when I tell you that it’s safer this way.”

“I do trust you, Kanan,” Hera said with a touch of impatience. “But we are a family and I care about you and Ezra. I want to help.”

“And you can by taking care of Zeb and Sabine,” Kanan said. “I have to go now.”

Hera leapt forward and hugged Kanan fiercely. He put an arm around her and hugged her back but only briefly.

“I love you,” Hera whispered in his ear.

“I love you too,” he whispered back.

He planted a quick kiss on her forehead and swung up the ladder.

Hera looked up as Kanan closed the hatch behind him. She swept out of the common room towards the cockpit just as the Phantom departed.

“So, where are they going now?” Sabine asked tentatively.

The Phantom flew overhead and Hera sighed.

“Sometimes, it’s better not to know,” she answered sadly.


	6. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanan means everything to Hera. Nothing feels right when they are apart.
> 
> S2 E19 Mystery of Chopper Base

“You lose, you die,” Kanan said.

“Yeah, and you win by killing an Inquisitor,” Ezra snapped back.

“No, you win by surviving,” Kanan shot back.

Hera watched as her Jedi sparred. Kanan’s words echoed in her head. _You lose, you die._

“You two are getting pretty good!” Sabine chimed in.

“Getting? Are you saying we weren’t good before?” Ezra snarled.

“I think she just meant you’re even better now,” Hera replied.

She put on an encouraging smile even as internally her heart was doing somersaults.

“I’ll take it,” Ezra answered.

“Hey!” he yelled as Kanan attacked him from behind.

“You never turn your back on an enemy,” Kanan said.

“Okay… but since when are you my enemy?” Ezra said with a wave of his hand.

“Let’s go again,” Kanan said.

Hera leaned out over the railing. Her eyes traveled beyond the whirling blue blades until they were just a blur. As she stared, Kanan and Ezra faded and she was staring at an empty cargo hold.

 _Empty_. Hera took a breath but could not keep the sadness from taking over. It would not be long now until they were gone.

Hera felt her throat constrict at the thought that this Jedi she so dearly loved might not return. Kanan meant everything to her and in that moment she doubted whether she had the strength to carry on without him.

***

“I can’t believe it’s all finally coming together: ships, pilots, a base,” Hera began.

She didn’t know what to say. Anything. Something to bring him back to her.

“Everything you need,” Kanan replied distantly.

Hera exhaled, those familiar butterflies dancing about.

 _You_ , he said.

Hera rarely fixated on inconsequential details but she couldn’t help herself now with Kanan. _Why did he say you?_ They had found this base together. They had worked together to make this happen.

It was like he didn’t consider himself a part of it anymore.

“Except you and Ezra,” Hera said tentatively.

Kanan turned to face Hera, concern etched on his face.

“So, when do you leave?” she continued.

“As soon as Ahsoka gets back,” Kanan said. “We can’t run from the Inquisitors forever.”

“I figured it was something like that,” Hera said. “With all that training.”

She turned and walked hurriedly away. No good would come from talking about their inevitable departure. It was already painful enough without him lying to her more.

“Hera, what you’ve accomplished here is important,” Kanan said trailing after her. “I understand that now, the need for us to be part of a larger rebellion.”

There it was again. _You._ Hera should’ve been happy that Kanan was giving her credit for finding the base, but the truth was, she couldn’t have done it without him. She needed him, but as she walked she realized the same might not be true of him anymore.

“I’m behind you, but none of that will matter if we don’t do what _we_ need to do.”

They were always the ‘we’ _._ Hera gulped as she realized that the ‘we’ he spoke of did not include her. She placed her hand on her hip as Kanan put a hand on her shoulder.

She felt his touch, but it wasn’t the same. He wasn’t doing it to support her, it was to appease her.

“Lieutenant Dicer hasn’t come back yet.”

Hera whipped around. _Bad news_. She instinctively glanced up at Kanan.

 _There._ She saw it for a second. He wasn’t totally gone yet. There may still be a together for the two of them.

Perhaps one last time before he was gone. Hera shut her eyes before she could imagine worse.

***

The sun was setting. Hera sighed as she walked off to find a quiet spot to rest. The day had gone well, too well. The markers were holding back the spiders as planned.

Ahsoka was due back at the end of the day. And tomorrow… Tomorrow they would leave.

“Hera,” Kanan said.

Hera exhaled. She blinked rapidly and forced herself to smile. Kanan had too much to worry about with this mission. He didn’t need her fear on top of it.

“I told the Commander the site was secure, and operations can resume,” she said brightly.

Kanan was not here to talk about the base. His hands were fidgeting nervously – a giveaway that he wasn’t being totally honest.

“You know we’re going to be okay, right?” he said. His feigned confidence couldn’t fool Hera.

“You realize I know when you’re lying, right?” Hera replied.

She crossed her arms. Kanan was sweet for trying to hide the truth from her, but Hera knew this mission wasn’t like the others.

Kanan stopped. His face said it all. Hera’s heart fluttered. _It was bad_. He put on a strong face but Hera couldn’t take this anymore.

“Whatever you’re facing, I wanted us to face it together,” she said.

Together. It was all that Hera really wanted. Her life was given over to the rebellion but her heart wanted more. She wanted freedom from the Empire but she always imagined it’d be with Kanan by her side. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. What would victory mean without him?

Kanan smiled. The last of Hera’s strength melted away. This could be the last time they would be together.

He put two hands on Hera’s shoulders.

“We’ll see each other again, I promise,” he said.

Kanan drew Hera towards him and she shut her eyes. She leaned against him, feeling the warmth of his body, the light in his touch. If this was to be the last time, she wanted to remember it forever.

Kanan lowered his head to rest on hers, holding her in his arms.

“I’ve got you,” Kanan whispered.

Hera felt a small tear trickle down her cheek.

“Be safe,” she muttered faintly.

Another tear fell as she clung to Kanan tightly.

“I love you,” he said softly.

Hera shook in his arms and leaned closer.

“I love you too.”

Kanan wrapped both arms around Hera and she immersed herself in his embrace. The warmth of the sun shone on them.

Together, this was how it was meant to be. 


End file.
